I’m here as your Mother, not as your friend

Yup.

That’s me.

So mean.

So nasty.

I never let you do anything you want to do.

I always make you eat food you don’t like.

Why can’t you play on screens I hear you ask?  Because I said so that is what I answer.

You don’t want to do you homework?  Not acceptable I’m afraid.

Not here.

Not now.

 

I am the epitome of the evil mom.  Apparently I went to the school of evil moms and graduated with honours.  My son told me the other day I should never have had children.  Sometimes I am inclined to agree.  But not today.

Today I miraculously managed to avoid name calling.  It would appear I am not the worst mother in the world after all.  Not today anyway.  I even had a glimpse of grateful when my children arrived home to discover the removals based around their moving rooms has been done and that two of the three have beautiful new bedding.  I await the eldest to return home and see his but am hopeful he will be pleased.

We all have different priorities.  What’s parentally important to one person may seem ridiculously trivial to another, but then the same can work the other way.  And that’s ok (as long as your priorities are in line with mine).

I believe I sit somewhere around the rather old-school parenting circle.  My priorities begin with manners, general good behaviour, consideration for others, hard work, effort (in all areas of life) and respect.

It’s a big word you know; respect.  Extremely important too, or at least it should be in my humble (but profoundly expert) opinion.  If you happen to be one of the lucky parental units that have yet to utter the words “If I had spoken to my mother like that…” then hugely metaphorical hats off to you.

Without wishing to sound like an old nag, what has happened to the youth of today?  How has it come about that there is an expectation for things to be done for them, given to them, that they can do whatever they want with little or no consequence and still think the world owes them something?  I’m not sure I will ever quite understand it but shall continue to fight the good fight (though it rarely has good days if I am honest) and attempt to bring my children up to be well rounded, kind, caring, considerate, hard working, loving human beings.

Do I feel the need for public displays of over-affection?  No I do not.  I love my children and deep down, for all the fight, they know this.

I know they know this.

They know I know they know this.

We talk about it.

A lot.

When in the throws of tantrums and tutting with the rolling of eyes and general huffishness (Oxford English Dictionary if this is not yet a word I hereby lay claim to it), it is very hard to see past the shit moment you are in.  Believe me, I know this feeling only to well.  At this point, repeat after me: This is for the greater good.

Many moons ago, your parents had these struggles.  Maybe of a slightly different nature but they struggled none the less.  The latest fashion, the latest fad, the lack of homework done, the lost plimsoll from your PE bag.  The obsession over so-and-so’s whatdyamacallit, the one you really reeeeeally want for Christmas (but haven’t a hope in hell of getting), the excuses, the bullshit, the painstaking watching and waiting and taking deep breaths, even the counting to ten.  They all did it too.  As will our darling children.  When they are finally all grown up themselves.  Me?  I look forward to the day I can give them the patronising pat them on the back and wish them the very best of British, regaling them with stories of the things they have said and done.  No doubt much to their horror and disbelief I am sure.  But there I will be.  And so the circle of life will go on.

It’s important to remember who we are and what we are doing.  As a parent, it is our job to guide the little people.  To teach them how to be.  Yes they are their own beings, they need to explore, express etc etc.  But the simple tasks like table manners (sitting on your bottom with your feet under the table, chewing with your mouth closed etc), general manners (please and thank you’s), hard work etc etc etc, need to be taught and reinforced.  Repeatedly, if your children are anything like mine.  It is a constant life lesson.

I am hard on my children, this much I know.  I am relentless and sometimes harsh.  I do not apologise for that.  My beliefs are strong and my desire to create wonderful human beings is paramount.

The rest of the world can tell whatever tales it likes.  I know my story and I’m sticking to it.

 

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